New book on spirituality delves into spirituality, aging

In the Hindu tradition, there are four stages of life, or Ashrama, divided into four sections.

The first is called the Brahmacharya, or student stage. That’s when we are educated, develop discipline and build character.

The second is called Grihastha, or householder stage, when people can get married, raise children, earn income and focus on the family and community.

After that comes Vanaprastha, or forest dwelling. Quite literally, it meant going to the forest to meditate and study sacred texts. But it also represents a time of withdrawal, or leaving behind, a life of work–retirement, in other words, a time of disengagement from worldly responsibilities to contemplate the deeper meaning of life.

The last stage is called Sannyasa, or sage, a time before death when people become “insane for the light” of spiritual liberation.

That Hindu tradition informs a new book about spirituality and aging by Father Ron Rolheiser, a Roman Catholic priest who teaches at the Oblate School of Theology in San Antonio, Texas. and who is originally from Cactus Lake, Sask. (And who returns there regularly to see family and friends.)

Titled Insane for the Light: A Spirituality for Our Wisdom Years (Penguin Random House), the book also includes insights about aging from the Bible, Sigmund Freud and Germaine Greer. It is his third book in a series on spirituality and life’s journey; the others are called The Holy Longing and Sacred Fire.

Each phase of life provides its own unique opportunity to connect with God and to bless those around us. But for many — including Rolheiser himself, who at 79, is still actively teaching and serving — the forest dwelling stage is the most challenging. Who are we when we leave our career behind? When our children no longer need us? What, then, is our purpose?

For Rolheiser, this stage is a fertile time of moving from “role to soul,” as he puts it, a time when we gradually detach from the usual responsibilities to explore our inner lives. At the same time, we can transition from active involvement at work to assume supportive, mentoring and advisory positions in our families and communities.

It’s a time, he says, to let go of the past and begin to “sort out how we can move from the security we have built for ourselves over the years to a place beyond self-sufficiency.”

In a Zoom interview, Rolheiser shared more about the book and journey of life with me.

During our younger years, he says, we often don’t have a lot of time to focus on who we are — we are so busy working and raising a family.

“But then you get to be about 65 or something, your kids are raised, the mortgage is paid, but you might live another 25 years. What are these next years for?” he asks.

The Hindu tradition provides some ideas, Rolheiser says. And so does the life of Jesus.

“As Christians, we say that Jesus saved us by his life and by his death, as if those were the same things,” he says. “They’re very different. Jesus gave us life for us through his activity, preaching and doing miracles. But he gave his death for us through his passivity. He doesn’t do anything anymore. Everything is done to him.”

For Rolheiser, this suggests “we are saved through Jesus’ passivity, not his activity, which is a great paradoxical mystery for our lives, too.”

By that he means when we are younger, we actively explore who we are and who we want to be. But as we grow older, we no longer find ourselves through activity.

At this stage, he says, we find ourselves through “our passivity, our diminishments, our helplessness … our passivity is a gift.”

Rolheiser knows this is hard for many; he is finding it challenging, too, to let go of teaching and other responsibilities. “I’m not Jesus,” he says. “I’m having a hard time giving up all my activity.”

But, he adds, there’s no getting around aging — for him or others. “It’s going to happen to us all, and we can meet it with bitterness and anger, or we can meet it with graciousness,” he says. “And that’s going to make all the difference in the world.”

By that, Rolheiser means the secret to aging well, during our forest dwelling years, is gratitude and forgiveness. That means expressing thankfulness to God for God’s blessings, and forgiving those who have hurt us or let us down. That can include forgiving God if we feel life has been unfair and that God has let us down.

“You’re thankful and you’re not angry at anybody,” he says of the key to finding peace at this stage of life. “You’re not angry at God, you’re not angry at the world. You’re at peace, forgiving others and forgiving yourself.”

That last act of forgiveness can be hard, he acknowledges. “That seems to be the hardest of all,” he says of the need to forgive ourselves for our mistakes, missteps and things done or not done.

In the end, the goal of this stage of life is what he calls the “mellowing of the soul.” “Like a good wine, the soul needs to be mellowed in cracked old barrels to bring out its warm, rich character.”

Jdl562000@yahoo.com

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