The bare fact is you’ll just have to bear it

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 31/01/2026 (194 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR .MISS LONELYHEARTS: I thought I married a smart, conservative woman — and now I don’t recognize her. She has gotten in with a bunch of women who are nudists, and two of them have indoor pools.

I’m not a nudist by any stretch. I wear a robe in the bathroom and around the house and boxer shorts in the bedroom. I’m not ashamed of my body and the equipment God gave me as a man, but I am not strutting around naked in our house.

My wife and I have had a good sex life up to now, but she’s laughing at my modesty lately.

Since my wife has started hanging out with this group, I found out two of them are also naked in their homes whenever they want, and some of them have young kids.

When my wife gets together with these women to swim and sauna together, what’s going on then?

I understand wanting to swim in a pool naked because it feels so much better than coming out in a cold, wet bathing suit, but hanging around together with the other women in the sauna without a towel seems weird to me. So is this sweating naked in the sauna really just a process to open their pores? What’s up with that?

Am I too conservative to get what else may be going on — like maybe massages? Yesterday my wife told me to calm down and that nothing sinful was happening. Ha. That doesn’t cover much these days.

What do you think? Do I need to investigate? I don’t think I’ve been getting the whole truth.

— Not Totally Buying It, South End

Dear Not Buying: What is the worst thing you imagine in the present situation with your wife’s friends? Do you really think your wife is getting sexually involved with another woman? You can’t very well pop up as an uninvited guest at one of these friend’s pool-and-spa get-togethers.

If you suggest as much to your wife, it’s likely you’ll get the laughter (and the reassurance) you need. If not, you two need to do a lot more talking in a hurry.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My husband and I are not hazarding an airplane trip to ski in the U.S. as we have done other years — his idea, owing to the political situation. He says he wants to ski in Canada from now on. Yawn. We’re longtime skiers and know all the best resorts way too well.

I want to go somewhere new. I’ve suggested Europe now, and he says, “They probably won’t speak enough English for the likes of me.” Yeesh. Hard to win with my country guy. Got any ideas?

— Itching to Ski, Fort Richmond

Dear Itching: France, Switzerland, Italy and Austria claim to have great and reliable snow and safety standards at their ski resorts, but it certainly could be a lot pricier than hitting the slopes here in Canada. There’s also the added spinoff of keeping your travel dollars closer to home.

If so, there are plenty of great options here in Canada. B.C. and Alberta have great skiing, as does Quebec, along with its unique culture and delicious cuisine. But you’ll have to hustle for some reservations, as this is already high season.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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