Take the leap to learn whether it’s lust or love

Advertisement

Advertise with us

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My house doorbell rang at 1 a.m., six times. That was the old signal when I lived with my fraternity buddies. It meant an expected girlfriend had arrived for a late-night visit!

Read this article for free:


By clicking the button above, an account will be created and you will begin to receive some of our recommended newsletters. You may opt out of any newsletter by visiting your Email and Communication Preferences page or by clicking "unsubscribe" at the bottom of any email.

or

Already have an account? Log in here »

To continue reading, please subscribe:

Digital Subscription

One year of digital access for only $1.44 a week*

  • Enjoy unlimited reading on winnipegfreepress.com
  • Read the E-Edition, our digital replica newspaper
  • Access News Break, our award-winning app
  • Play interactive puzzles

*Billed as $5.77 plus GST every four weeks. After 52 weeks, price increases to the regular rate of $19.95 plus GST every four weeks. Offer available to new and qualified returning subscribers only. Cancel any time.

To continue reading, please subscribe:

Add Free Press access to your Brandon Sun subscription for only an additional

$1 for the first 4 weeks*

  • Enjoy unlimited reading on winnipegfreepress.com
  • Read the E-Edition, our digital replica newspaper
  • Access News Break, our award-winning app
  • Play interactive puzzles
Start now

*Your next Brandon Sun subscription payment will increase by $1.00 and you will be charged $17.95 plus GST for four weeks. After four weeks, your payment will increase to $24.95 plus GST every four weeks.

Opinion

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 09/12/2025 (326 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My house doorbell rang at 1 a.m., six times. That was the old signal when I lived with my fraternity buddies. It meant an expected girlfriend had arrived for a late-night visit!

I knew exactly who was dinging my doorbell a couple of nights ago — my favourite old love from university days — and I ran to open that door. We had a wonderful time together and she got on a plane a day later to go back east. But this time it felt different — I wanted her to stay and never go.

I realized I wanted her in a more tender way than for just sex. After a fair bit of time, I may be seriously falling in love. How do I tell her this, when we live so far apart and have careers we worked hard to build in two different cities?

— Longing For Her, Osborne Village

Dear Longing: “Why didn’t you tell me you wanted me seriously?” is one of the saddest things old lovers can say to one another, too far down the road.

You are starting to feel serious about her, and maybe she’s developing the same feelings for you. Do you think the shift in feelings is mutual? You have to find out now.

If your Winnipeg doorbell is just a lark for her to have some great sex, then this woman is still “just in lust” and there’s no mutual level of interest.

You’ll really have to ask her outright and see how she feels about you — and steel yourself for whatever answer she gives. It could be disappointing, but it also could be wonderful, along the lines of “I’m so glad you told me. Now let’s do something about it!”

Some of the best marriages started out as great friendships, with physical attraction and a flirting component.

There seems to be some real hope here, so get on it!

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: A guy in a Santa Claus suit has been strolling down our back lane ringing a bell and yelling, “Ho, ho, ho, Merry Christmas!” for a couple of nights in a row since the snow came.

The neighbours seem to think he’s a drunk. They suspect he’s the same guy who came dancing through here at Halloween in costume and some say we should call the cops — but I think he’s fun.

What is the matter these days that people have no sense of humour? Anytime anyone does something a bit different, they want to call the police. I think we should invite him in. What’s your opinion?

— Loving the Laughs, Fort Garry

Dear Loving the Laughs: I’m all for surprises and laughter, especially as snow has finally arrived to put us in the mood. Your group of neighbours has nothing to fear if you invite St. Nick in and give him some goodies to eat and cocoa to drink. You might skip the booze for everybody’s sake, including Santa and the reindeer!

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

Our newsroom depends on a growing audience of readers to power our journalism. If you are not a paid reader, please consider becoming a subscriber.

Our newsroom depends on its audience of readers to power our journalism. Thank you for your support.

Report Error Submit a Tip

More Stories

Nobel laureate Toni Morrison dead at 88

Hillel Italie, The Associated Press 18 minute read Preview

Nobel laureate Toni Morrison dead at 88

Hillel Italie, The Associated Press 18 minute read Tuesday, Aug. 6, 2019

NEW YORK - Nobel laureate Toni Morrison, a pioneer and reigning giant of modern literature whose imaginative power in "Beloved," ''Song of Solomon" and other works transformed American letters by dramatizing the pursuit of freedom within the boundaries of race, has died at age 88.

Publisher Alfred A. Knopf announced that Morrison died Monday night at Montefiore Medical Center in New York. Morrison's family issued a statement through Knopf saying she died after a brief illness.

"Toni Morrison passed away peacefully last night surrounded by family and friends," the family announced. "The consummate writer who treasured the written word, whether her own, her students or others, she read voraciously and was most at home when writing."

Few authors rose in such rapid, spectacular style. She was nearly 40 when her first novel, "The Bluest Eye," was published. By her early 60s, after just six novels, she had become the first black woman to receive the Nobel literature prize, praised in 1993 by the Swedish academy for her "visionary force" and for her delving into "language itself, a language she wants to liberate" from categories of black and white. In 2012, Barack Obama awarded her a Presidential Medal of Freedom.

Read
Tuesday, Aug. 6, 2019

Industry minister to meet Rogers CEO after outage

Tyler Griffin, The Canadian Press 4 minute read Preview

Industry minister to meet Rogers CEO after outage

Tyler Griffin, The Canadian Press 4 minute read Sunday, Jul. 10, 2022

TORONTO - Canada's industry minister will convene a meeting with the leader of Rogers Communications in the wake of a massive outage that paralyzed the company's network and hampered several crucial services, his office announced on Sunday, even as some customers continued to report service disruptions.

A statement released from the office of François-Philippe Champagne said he plans to meet with Tony Staffieri and other telecom leaders to discuss the importance of improving "the reliability of networks across Canada."

The statement said Champagne found last week's widespread service disruption — which lasted at least 15 hours and knocked out access to numerous law enforcement, health care and banking services — "unacceptable," adding he has expressed that view directly to Staffieri.

"These services are vitally important for Canadians in their day to day life and we expect our telecom industry to meet the highest standards that Canadians rightly deserve," the statement read.

Read
Sunday, Jul. 10, 2022

Letters, Oct. 31

6 minute read 2:01 AM CDT

Civic election a missed opportunity

The outcome of the latest municipal election in Winnipeg is nothing short of baffling. The decline of what was once a proud, beautiful prairie hub is impossible to ignore.

Winnipeg is rapidly sliding into a state of structural and social dilapidation, yet voters have inexplicably chosen to hand incumbent Mayor Scott Gillingham a second term. The decision smells of complacency, and sadly, it represents a massive missed opportunity for real urban renewal.

Walking through downtown Winnipeg today is an exercise in heartbreak. A city centre that should be a bustling economic and cultural core has instead transformed into an absolute eyesore. Encampments and tents are permitted to dot the heart of the city. Streets that used to thrive are now dominated by the tragic, visible reality of severe addiction, with individuals wandering and staggering through public spaces without adequate intervention or care.

Affordable southwest Winnipeg attached two-storey home designed with families in mind

Todd Lewys 4 minute read Preview

Affordable southwest Winnipeg attached two-storey home designed with families in mind

Todd Lewys 4 minute read 2:01 AM CDT

Those in the market for a new entry-level home tend to have one main thought in mind. That thought, in most cases, centres on how much value a dwelling delivers — in both price and livability.

Spencer Curtis, owner of Hilton Homes, says he and his design team are acutely aware of how meticulously prospective buyers scrutinize entry-level new house options, which in most cases are attached two-storey models.

“That’s why we keep tweaking plans to make those homes better,” Curtis says. “This model, the Wilkens, is by far our most popular plan. We put a lot of thought into its design, and are always working at making it as functional and family-friendly as possible.”

Right from the get-go, the Wilkens distinguishes itself from other attached two-storey homes with its square footage.

Read
2:01 AM CDT

Olympics Overnight: Speedskater Blondin wins silver in the mass start, Bowman narrowly misses podium in halfpipe skiing, Jamaica returns to bobsled track

Richie Assaly - Toronto Star, Toronto Star 6 minute read Preview

Olympics Overnight: Speedskater Blondin wins silver in the mass start, Bowman narrowly misses podium in halfpipe skiing, Jamaica returns to bobsled track

Richie Assaly - Toronto Star, Toronto Star 6 minute read Saturday, Feb. 19, 2022

Here’s what you missed overnight at Day 15 of the 2022 Beijing Olympics.

Read
Saturday, Feb. 19, 2022

Behind the scenes at circus spectacle Odysseo, it's the horses who hold the reins

Erin Lebar / Photos by Ruth Bonneville 15 minute read Preview

Behind the scenes at circus spectacle Odysseo, it's the horses who hold the reins

Erin Lebar / Photos by Ruth Bonneville 15 minute read Wednesday, Jun. 13, 2018

It’s almost 4 p.m. on a particularly steamy May afternoon and Cavalia Odysseo rider Chelsea Jordan is putting on her makeup in the back corner of the very humid artistic tent.

She’s already spent some time layering on foundation, and is now into the decorative portion of the 30-minute process, placing a pair of small gems on her forehead and enhancing her naturally sharp cheekbones with some extra contouring.

“This is the messy part of the business,” she jokes as she sticks on fake lashes over an eyelid covered in earth-toned shadow.

It’s odd that makeup is considered the messy part of the day when Jordan spends the majority of her time surrounded by horses, but as with most people involved in Odysseo, the glitzy and glamorous aspects of being a member of the largest touring production in the world aren’t nearly as fun as the time she gets to spend with her four-legged cast-mates.

Read
Wednesday, Jun. 13, 2018