Enlighten ex on illegality of sharing intimate pix

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 14/09/2023 (1078 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My boyfriend and I used our phones to make crazy naked photo collections of ourselves in the sand dunes at the beach this summer. We got pretty silly. It’s potentially embarrassing for me now, since we just broke up.

He asked me to get rid of my shots of him, and I said I did, and the other way around. But neither of us trusts each other now, as we have just split up.

So how do I get the nude photos of me gone for sure? I don’t even want my ex to still have me to look at!

— I’m Not for Public Display, Winnipeg

Dear Not for Public Display: This is the sad part about personal smartphone “intimate photo art.” Unfortunately, some people treasure the nude pics of their exes even more after a breakup — as the spoils of war!

However, in Manitoba, non-consensual distribution of such imagery is illegal under the province’s Intimate Image Protection Act. Under the act, you do not lose the expectation of privacy for pictures of you if even if you consented to the other person recording the images or you provided them.

So make your ex aware of the law and do it in good faith, having already deleted images of him from your own devices.

If you do find out he’s sharing intimate images of you, document where you find the pictures and contact the service providers or social media companies to report the unauthorized use. For more information at the federal level, check out cybertip.ca, where you can also report misuse of intimate images.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: The temptation to gamble big-time is coming nearer.

My husband is off in Winnipeg away from our home all the time for his work. In our town, I get to meet a lot of people who visit these days to see what we have to offer here. I tour them around, do some translation and help facilitate business. Absolutely no covert relationships are happening for me, though people love to talk.

Then, last week I was asked by my boss if I’d be interested in travelling for work more, on my own. I talked to my husband about it, and he said, a bit too quietly, “Our jobs will be the death of us.” So what do I do? I’ve never had so much fun and stimulation working as I do now. Maybe my guy is right, but I want to try everything life has to offer. What do you think?

— Here’s Hoping! Manitoba

Dear Hoping: You’re a natural explorer, so you won’t be happy until you’ve tried everything you can.

If you could maybe find some work that synchronizes with what your love partner does, or that puts you together working on projects, there may be more hope for you as a couple. Some pairs really do complement each other well and flourish as a unit in business — but both people have to want it equally.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: You know how we always like to think bad gossip isn’t true, especially if it’s about someone you know? Well, I found out the nasty rumour I’d heard in the summer about my older sister — and strongly denied — is actually true. She’s involved with a man now who is not her husband.

I told our mother, and she did the “Shhhhh!” thing with her finger. She already knew! Now, am I obliged to tell what I know to my sweet and wonderful brother-in-law? I’m scared to do it!

— Knowing Too Much, southwestern Manitoba

Dear Knowing Too Much: The truth-teller in a situation like this often gets into trouble with everybody involved. If you can back off from this potential mess, it would be the least dangerous path for you. But if you just can’t, be prepared for your sister to back off from you, at least for a time, and that could be painful.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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