DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I received an angry, old-fashioned breakup letter from my boyfriend today with “What I should have sent you” printed on the envelope. It was a nasty followup to a kinder text message he sent me the day before with some of his regrets about the two of us and about himself.

This one listed all my faults — social, political, personal and sexual. I guess he had taken time to really dig around in his strange little mind. He’s definitely not short on cutting remarks.

I don’t know which of the two makes me madder. Should I respond to either?

— Shaking My Head, downtown Winnipeg

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I’m about 90 per cent lesbian in sexual preference — I’ve only had two serious men in my many years of dating and falling in like or in love. Both of those men wanted me to drop my “weird thing“ for women and be 100 per cent theirs, and try to live as a heterosexual with them as partners. But I loved who I loved, and it just came from within.

Now I have a new and very painful problem. I’m in love with two very different people — a man and a woman — and I don’t use the word love lightly for either of them. They don’t want to share me and it looks like I will lose them both soon. I’m doubly heartbroken, but I don’t see any way to win.

I know it’s odd, and I personally don’t know anyone else who has been in this position.

My honesty is what got me into this mess. I should have kept my mouth shut and at least tried to keep them both for a longer time. What should I do?

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I know my mother has a boyfriend. I’m scared to tell my dad who thinks she’s an angel. Dad works out of town five days a week and flies back home to Winnipeg on the weekends. He makes a lot of money and says it’s worth it, but he doesn’t know what he’s lost already — his wife, for sure. And he hardly knows me anymore.

Mom’s away with “a friend” most weeknights until late, so I don’t see her much. Dad comes home on Fridays for the weekends, and mom fakes being the good wife when he’s at home.

But it’s too late for my mom and me to be close when we’re alone at home. I know she’s cheating on my dad. Is my role in this just to shut up? I feel so alone it scares me.

I’m 17, with plans to go to university for a medical career. There’s lots of money from my dad for that and I will live in residence with other students then.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: The wife I separated from — the lifelong actor — came back to me recently, saying she was a changed woman. She was looking for a reconciliation. She said she had changed for me. I was lonely and sex-starved, and I bit.

This woman is good onstage in theatre productions, but the character she’s played in our marriage is non-stop manipulator. But I was lonely, and God knows she provides sexual entertainment.

However, in just a few months, this so-called changed woman was just another role she was playing. I finally told her I wanted to get a divorce for real and look for a genuine person next time around. She laughed and said, “After me, you’ll be bored stiff.” To which I said, “Nope, I’ll finally be relieved.”

In university we were both involved in theatre, and going to bed with her was like having a series of different women in my life. But who did I really have in my arms when the lights went out? Who knows who she really was. I can promise you this — only her therapist knows for sure.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I have the most wonderful thoughts as I’m going to sleep (lying next to my useless mate) and then I can’t get them out of my head, even the next day. Let’s just say my dreams are pretty adult and they don’t feature my husband.

I can’t begin to describe how hard it is for me to think about these sexual things while being married to a guy who doesn’t take care of himself personally, not to mention the house or even his car (and I thought men cared about their cars).

I long for the physical touch of someone else — anyone. I hate how much it fills my mind, and I get ashamed of my feelings sometimes. We have three teenage boys and the thought of breaking up the family and destroying their world almost gives me a panic attack.

We live in a house in a very nice area, and if I left their father just over sex I would never forgive myself. I just can’t stop the thoughts from creeping into my mind all day, every day, and then at night when my eyes are shut, I can see them in Technicolor.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My marriage to a controlling older man didn’t last a year. I was young — in my 20s — when I got divorced. It was a bad mistake. I married him partly to get away from my wealthy, know-it-all parents.

But after the divorce, I was scared to date another man. I dropped out of the whole scene. But recently — to celebrate my birthday — my girlfriends took me to dinner and the bar. That night I met a great guy about my age and we danced all night long.

His eyes and crazy sense of humour were oddly familiar. We didn’t trade last names until the end of the night — and then it was a shock. One of my friends had the same last name — it turns out he was the cousin of one of my girlfriends out for my birthday. It was a just big setup.

She confessed she pulled the stunt as a present. It could have been a bad thing, but it wasn’t. I really liked him. But now I have a timing problem. I still lack trust in men, but I think I recognize a winner in this woman’s cousin and I am so interested in seeing him again.

Recently, I was driving to a meeting and saw a local plumbing company truck that caused me to do a double-take. It was dirty and rusty and the driver was weaving in and out of traffic somewhat carelessly. These observations made me wonder if the value of the service would be correspondingly shabby.

Contrast this with another plumbing company that has a unique vehicle graphic that makes it look like the driver is sitting on the toilet. It always makes me chuckle. The van is clean and not rusty. Does this observation mean the value of this plumber’s work is better than the other?

I don’t know the answer, but if I didn’t already have a plumber I trust, I know which company I would call first.

While you may consider this approach superficial, I can assure you that everyone filters value factors such as the cleanliness of vehicles, among other things, when they visit a store or conduct business with a company.

Farmers took full advantage of the windy, hot weather this week to chip away at harvest. They had about three-quarters of the province’s crop in their bins just as October arrived with a cooler, wetter forecast.

But it hasn’t been easy, as evidenced by the deeply rutted fields in areas that received heavy rains two weeks ago. There has been no shortage of anecdotal reports of “rescue” operations, where an individual operation’s harvest was waylaid by the need to extract equipment mired in the mud.

Wet soils beneath a thick canopy of ripe crops also add up to quality losses. While much of the early cereals harvested this fall have ranked in the top grades, some fields where harvest was delayed by rain resulted in grain that was downgraded to livestock feed, which is a major hit on pricing.

The unusually warm day and night-time temperatures have also created headaches harvesting potatoes. The optimum temperature range for putting potatoes into storage is between 7 C and 15 C. Harvest when spuds are too cold and they bruise; storing them when they are too warm increases the risk of diseases that cause rot. At this time of year, the shift from one extreme to the other can happen overnight, so the window of opportunity is narrow.