Sprinkle some self love on your New Year’s resolutions

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 28/12/2020 (2124 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

The new year starts in a few days, and with that comes change and a clean slate. Or at least that’s what it feels like — a new beginning and a chance at a fresh start.

I don’t know how many New Year’s resolutions I’ve made throughout my life, but most of them have been about losing weight. I’m not alone in that, a quick Google search shows that losing weight is one of the top New Year’s resolutions for everyone. Like most people, I failed at achieving this year-over-year. Probably because for me it was always more of a wish than an action. Nonetheless, I stopped making resolutions a few years ago and my life is better for it.

I have always struggled with my weight and as a result I have also always struggled with my self worth. I started my first diet in elementary school and since then I have walked a fine line of disordered eating and unbalanced behaviours that aren’t healthy, and that frankly made me feel terrible both inside and out.

Every diet I’ve ever started, I have failed. Diet culture is a scam, and it’s robbing us of joy and happiness.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not slagging healthy lifestyles and people who watch what they eat. I think we should all strive to be healthy. I am not going after people who are living by diets and diet plans for whatever reason, that is none of my business. I am just saying that diet culture is toxic and it teaches us that there is something wrong with our bodies because they are bigger or because they don’t look a certain way. There is a lot of shame and stigma attached to diet culture and beauty standards that are impossible to obtain. It’s a damn shame that so many of us put so much stock into that, because all of us are more than just a body.

It’s only been in the last couple of years that I have really learned to start appreciating myself and my body for what they are. I have stretch marks, cellulite, fat and wobbly skin in places that society has deemed unattractive. My thighs are thick, and when I gain weight it’s prominent everywhere, especially in my face.

Being in my own skin used to really bug me, because I was never happy with the way I looked. I felt trapped in a fat vessel. I applauded and marvelled at larger people who posed for photos and existed in real life without trying to shroud themselves or hide their size. Being called fat was a weakness to me. It was a weapon and I would crumble at those words. I spoke up for and advocated for fat acceptance and Health at Every Size (HAES), but in my own mind I was the exception. The fat exception that always needed to lose 10 pounds.

In hindsight, I was not the advocate I thought I was or needed to be. I am working on that.

Then I had my daughter. That was the big awakening for me, when she was born and I saw and experienced what my body was capable of, and what it gave life to. I realized pretty quickly that my body and my being were worthy of respect and that I have some pretty deep-rooted self esteem and body image issues that I don’t want to pass on to her.

So, I made it my goal to stop hating myself and to appreciate every inch of me. I stopped comparing myself to other people, other images, and filtered photos on Instagram.

It’s made my life easier and a whole lot happier.

I stopped cutting myself down and I stopped calling myself fat. Even if I am fat, I don’t like to be called fat, so I stopped doing it. Then I made a point to take notice of the things I like about myself, and day after day the list got bigger, because there is a lot to appreciate when you take time and pause to notice it. What a difference this has made in my life.

I wish I had gained this perspective a long time ago. But, I’m grateful to have learned it at all.

This year, if you find yourself looking to make a New Year’s resolution, consider adding a little bit of self love and acceptance into your list. It’ll change your life, I promise.

shelka79@hotmail.com

@ShelleyACook