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Vulnerable memoir chronicles Griffiths’ marriage to Salman Rushdie, the attempt on his life and the sudden loss of a friend
7 minute read Yesterday at 2:02 AM CSTPoet and novelist Rachel Eliza Griffiths’s The Flower Bearers is an open wound of a memoir. In it we are introduced to a talented, fragile 42-year-old woman on the eve of her marriage to author Salman Rushdie. Griffiths writes that at the time she wanted “to be exposed and immersed in the name of a love that was as marvellous as the love of words and life itself we both shared.” Ecstatically, she proclaims: “Yes! I am in love — again.”
In the book’s opening scene, Griffiths revels in her wedding preparations, describing in sensual terms the experience of having her body decorated with henna: “Brown and slender, long arms stretch above their parallel shadows on the white sheet,” she writes. “The wrists, palms, and knuckles are embroidered with a hand-drawn world of diamonds and delicate curlicues. On my left palm, a man’s name has been inscribed.” She is giddy with joy, but that joy is tinged with foreboding: “When I whisper that I’m happy today,” Griffiths writes, “when I murmur that nothing can hurt us, I foolishly believe myself.”
Griffiths and Rushdie first met four years before, in 2017, at a literary soirée in Manhattan, and their attraction was immediate. Minutes into their conversation, Rushdie suggested they move to the terrace, where they could talk more easily. On the way out, Rushdie “collided with a massive plate glass door,” Griffiths recalls. “Hitting the glass at full momentum sent him immediately to the floor. He was sprawled there with blood flowing down his nose, his glasses cracked, and a sizable knot blooming on the dome of his head.” Stunned and embarrassed but not badly hurt, Rushdie attempted a hasty exit, but Griffiths insisted on accompanying him to his nearby apartment. There, she placed an ice pack on his head, and the two talked and laughed until the sun came up.
At the time, Griffiths was an aspiring poet and visual artist who struggled to make ends meet and was beset by anxiety and mental illness. She reports being plagued by “alters” — voices and visions that had tormented her since childhood. In her 20s and early 30s, she was hospitalized multiple times following a suicide attempt and other incidents of suicidal ideation. She initially resisted seeking psychological help because of shame and the view that “therapy was for white folks,” but at 30 she began regularly seeing a therapist and was ultimately diagnosed with dissociative identity disorder.
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