Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My girlfriend and I are in love, living together — a deeply committed couple who’d like to go travelling. She wants to quickly get married before we do that, “because of less trouble crossing borders.” I think that’s NOT a very romantic reason for getting married!

Now she’s upset and questioning why she’s even “just living” with me! I don’t know what to say. I just don’t want to get married unromantically, for travel’s sake. It’s a feeling deep in my gut. What do you think? — Romantic Canadian Guy, Winnipeg

Dear Romantic Canuck: There are cracks growing in your relationship right now as expressed by your girlfriend, who’s questioning why you’re “just living together.”

Could you do some Canadian exploration together for now, and test out how you travel longer-term as a couple — and then decide on marriage, before you consider leaving the safety of this modern country?

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I received an angry, old-fashioned breakup letter from my boyfriend today with “What I should have sent you” printed on the envelope. It was a nasty followup to a kinder text message he sent me the day before with some of his regrets about the two of us and about himself.

This one listed all my faults — social, political, personal and sexual. I guess he had taken time to really dig around in his strange little mind. He’s definitely not short on cutting remarks.

I don’t know which of the two makes me madder. Should I respond to either?

— Shaking My Head, downtown Winnipeg

I’ve heard recently from four longtime friends; all of them are concerned about how the world seems to be falling apart. Our discussions wavered between a solutions-based ‘can do’ attitude and a complete sense of giving up. What, we wondered, can be done?

Building a civil society in which we make positive change in basics like education, human rights, homelessness and polarization is possible, but it feels overwhelming to tackle on our own.

Here are a few ideas to make change.

1) Say hello and greet people on the street and in your life. Acknowledge others in person. Put down your phone. See the humans in front of you. Dehumanization begins when we aren’t seen. It makes a tangible difference. These micro-contacts can be good for our health and safety, too. At a neighbourhood meeting I attended, the police indicated that crimes decrease when people feel seen and see others reaching out.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I know my mother has a boyfriend. I’m scared to tell my dad who thinks she’s an angel. Dad works out of town five days a week and flies back home to Winnipeg on the weekends. He makes a lot of money and says it’s worth it, but he doesn’t know what he’s lost already — his wife, for sure. And he hardly knows me anymore.

Mom’s away with “a friend” most weeknights until late, so I don’t see her much. Dad comes home on Fridays for the weekends, and mom fakes being the good wife when he’s at home.

But it’s too late for my mom and me to be close when we’re alone at home. I know she’s cheating on my dad. Is my role in this just to shut up? I feel so alone it scares me.

I’m 17, with plans to go to university for a medical career. There’s lots of money from my dad for that and I will live in residence with other students then.

Empathy, the ability to feel and see another’s suffering, not just through understanding what they are going through but by being able to put themselves in another’s shoes, is on the decline.

Elon Musk said that “the fundamental weakness of Western civilization is empathy.” The late Charlie Kirk stated that, “I can’t stand empathy, it is a made-up new age term that does a lot of damage.”

Traditionally the perception has been that empathy lends itself to strategic thinking, bringing people together and creating strong connections. Not so for Kirk and Musk. They prefer the term compassion. Compassion is supposed to be a natural next step beyond empathy, recognizing a person’s pain and involving the desire to alleviate suffering and to provide helpful action.

What that helpful action should be is open to debate.